Luba Sharapan

Credit: Erik Haagensen

Assistant to the Branch Manager, Darn Pottery


Darn Pottery is made by hand by industrious hedgehogs on a small solar-powered farm in the Blue Ridge.

The makers of Darn Pottery can trace their ancestry back to Dammit O’Shane McKenzie, the notorious pirate, raconteur, moonshiner, and illustrator of children’s books. Dammit started making jugs in 1674 as a means of smuggling rum right under the noses of the darned English. Demand grew so much that Dammit eventually had to quit pirating to focus on supplying quality crockery.
Since then Darn Pottery stood steadfast to traditions, laughing in the face of progress. Nothing could sway the fussy hedgehogs from their dedication to artisanal, small-batch pottery making, illustration, and delivery by donkey. The hedgehogs owned the means of production, answered to no-one, and made precisely 76 pots per year. That is, until the interwebs.

Demand for artisanal, small batch things made by hedgehogs virtually exploded in 2003. Acquisitive city dwellers descended on the peaceful homesteads of the artisans, demanding more and more of that darned pottery. Something had to be done. The hedgehogs composed an ad soliciting a mid-sized human to help with talking, shipping, plumbing, and assorted sciences. The position of Assistant to the Branch Manager eventually went to Luba Sharapan on the basis of her dazzling personality and possession of opposable thumbs. She currently takes dictation, lifts boxes, types things, and takes pictures.

The hedgehogs continue in their traditional roles as potters and illustrators. When not working, the hedgehogs eat locally-sourced grubs and play tiny organic mandolins.

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